Cute Nicknames for Boyfriends – The Great Conspiracy

Scientists are baffled about the recent trend seen all over the world. Actually it is more than a trend. This is more like an epidemic or a pandemic or genocide or some English word that ends with an ‘ic’ or an ‘ide’. Young girls were seen walking on the streets of New York, Mumbai, and even in remote locations in china with their cellular phones close to their ears and mouths. Reports say these girls were overheard whispering some undecipherable words in an alien language. The governments of all countries of the world alerted their state agencies to probe into the matter as they are worried about the mental health of their young female citizens.

Apparently the agencies came back with the relieving news that the young girls were not possessed by alien spirits and were most definitely not cuckoo in their heads. They were only whispering the nicknames of their boyfriends over the phone. This has created huge relief to everybody including the hapless parents of the girls. Though everybody were relieved, the issue created a raging debate among the intelligentsia as to why these young girls chose nicknames that were so complex that is was misunderstood to be an alien language.

The answer to that was found out after investigators stumbled upon an internet site operating out of a secret location in remote Siberia that was selling cute nicknames for boyfriends from their servers stationed there. The linguistic origins of the so called cute nicknames were actually of a long lost language of an ancient nomadic tribe in remote Siberia who were actually the descendants of the first aliens who settled on planet earth in 35000bc. Some of the popular nicknames when translated into English meant “the hairy gumbo with stinking underarms” and “the meatball with fuzzy hair” and “the foul mouthed dork who wears his grandmother’s panties” and so on. The owner of the site when interrogated admitted to the motive behind him supplying all the cute nicknames. He admitted that he did all this to gain revenge for the humiliation he suffered at the age of 9 from his girlfriend who admonished him for having a running nose. He has been now charged with conspiracy of trying damage the mental health of all young girls and has been sentenced to a life in a prison somewhere in an underwater facility in the Pacific Ocean.

Rajiv Karran